Pick-up Lines?

Are You For Real?

Did you really just use that pick-up line on me? I mean really? So not only do I have to be infected with your presence but I have to sit here and listen to you attempt to get me to date you (if innocent dating is your only intention). Please go away and leave me alone.

Pick-up lines make people feel awkward guys (and girls)! So please stop using them! There isn't a pick-up line out there that will ever work on anyone the way you intend it to work. Not one! And I don't know about the rest of the world's population but when someone uses a pick-up line on me I feel very offended.

Why do I feel offended?

Because pick-up lines are thought up strictly for that reason, to pick up a date, and they're used repeatedly on different people! It's not special this way people! It makes me feel like every other girl out there, like I'm not special enough to just have some guy walk up to me and start a conversation. You do NOT need a pick-up line to do this! It is unnecessary and stupid and repulsive.

Okay... to understand this better let's role play a little. Guys, you are going to be the girl standing at the bar right now. Girls, we are going to be the guy walking up to the girl standing at the bar right now.

So you're standing there drinking your drink, not necessarily intending to meet anyone tonight, just enjoying your drink and relaxing after a long day at work. Some guy that you don't know walks up to you. He might be totally cute, or he might be one of those guys who thinks he's hot stuff, or he might be one of those guys that tries so hard to be suave and doesn't realize that it really doesn't work for him. He walks up to you and says...

"Did it hurt?"

You're a little confused at first because it doesn't dawn on you that he's using a pick-up line yet... "Excuse me?"

"When you fell from Heaven?"

Oh my goodness really?! Are you for real?! The first thing that goes through your head is "he really just used a pick-up line on me, a terrible one at that... I hope he wasn't expecting it to work the way he wanted it to..." you take a drink... the second thing to run through your head is "here I am enjoying my drink after work and this skeeze just insulted me in the worst way possible by using some line that he's used on multiple people already. So to him I'm no different than the next girl..."

And that's when you pay your tab and walk out of the bar without saying anything. He's dumbfounded! It usually works on girls for him! Excellent job teaching this boy what NOT to do when looking for a relationship. You now go home and enjoy some Kraft Macaroni and Cheese while watching The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly with your dog (or cat) while poor pick-up line boy stays in the bar/restaurant looking for a shoulder to cry on.

Do we all understand this now? Pick-up lines only create awkward situations for people! Had you walked up to the girl, introduced yourself with a handshake and your name, and genuinely been interested in her she would have stayed and enjoyed your company for a little bit before going home to her mac-n-cheese and dog.

Of course this is a generalization. Not every girl is going to stand there and be interested in you because you introduced yourself to her. There are those girls out there that are just plane mean. Should you come across this move on quickly and interest yourself in someone else because this girl just isn't worth it if you have to work that hard to break the ice.

So, what are the facts? Pick-up lines just do not work!

What are my thoughts on this? Stop using them!

They are, however, fun to read online when you're bored in the middle of the night... especially robot pick-up lines like: What's your IP address? I'd like to ping you sometime.

Which stand for: What's your phone number? I'd like to call you sometime.

STOP USING PICK-UP LINES!!!!