Scientology is Sillytology

So I guess this week's topic ended up being a combination of science, myths, and conspiracys. Totally unintentional from my end but who knows what forces out there dropped all of these topics into my lap!

So today... today is my Scientology day. Last night I was again on a forum and I stumbled across the thread "Scientology?" *click* and oh my goodness the laugh it gave me! Okay so for those of you who don't know what Scientology is I will now explain it for you in my next paragraph.

Okay so there is this big head honcho alien named Xenu (or Xemu... the loonies can't decide) and apparently some disaster resulted in the decay of life in this sector of the galaxy. Apparently they only barely touch on this topic to the low level members of the church... you have to have a higher level to actually know what happened to cause this decay (that's a red flag) Here is a quote from Hubbard's (the guy who invented the religion) research:

"And it is very true that a great catastrophe occurred on this planet and in the other 75 planets which formed this [Galactic] Confederacy 75 million years ago. It has since that time been a desert, and it has been the lot of just a handful to try to push its technology up to a level where someone might adventure forward, penetrate the catastrophe, and undo it. We're well on our way to making this occur."

So 75 million years ago Xenu was, according to Hubbard, the leader of the Galactic Confederacy which consisted of 26 stars and 76 planets including earth (which was apparently known as Teegeeack). So back during this time all the planets and stars were over populated. Xenu was about to be taken out of power so he came up with this plot to eliminate the excess population from his dominions. He basically brought all these other aliens together telling them that it was an income tax inspection and he paralyzed them and froze them in a mixture of alchohol and glycol to capture their "souls". They were then packaged up and taken to Teegeeack for disposal and extermination. The paralyzed citizens were then unloaded around the base of volcanoes around the planet then Hydrogen bombs were lowered into the volcanoes and simultaneously detonated. Most of the alien bodies were burned and destroyed but some of them survived. Now the souls of the now bodiless aliens were released and are called Thetans. These were blown into the air by the blast and captured by Xenu using an electronic ribbon. These "Thetans" were then forced to watch a 3D movie for 36 days which according to Hubbard brain washed them into believing in God and the Devil as well as various other religious beliefs out there today. The images both implanted "false information" into their brains but it also left them devoid of any sense of personal identity.

A group known as the Loyal Officers over threw Xenu and his renegade followers and locked them away in an electronic mountain trap... he to this day has not escaped from it. Earth was left alone by the Galactic Confederacy and considered a prison planet.

Belief in Xenu and the Thetans is a requirement in the church to move further along the Bridge to Total Freedom. Followers of the church try to hide or deny the story of Xenu (their Lord).

I am amazed. This probably made for some pretty interesting dreams last night... but I dont remember any of them.

So basically what I'm getting from this story is that Scientologists really like the idea of Star Wars and wanted to live their lives as though we could all one day have awesome light sabers and move things with our minds. Something I don't understand from what I read about it is... if we were all aliens once just like Xenu... then why do they worship him? It wasn't like he was more special than the rest of the aliens. The only thing that made him different from them was that he had a higher status in the Galaxy because he was a ruler.

Honestly though? The actual story of Star Wars is far more entertaining than this story seems to be. And did I mention that to move up a level in the church you have to pay x amount of money? Yeah... you actually have to PAY MONEY (and I'm talking big bucks here! Not just and "offering"!) to know more in the church. RED FLAG!!! I think this Hubbard character was on some major drugs when he thought up all this crap and when he got off of his high he actually believed in what he had written and recorded. This my friends is exactly why you should not do drugs! Because you could potentially make up a crazy religion that has absolutely no basis on reality what so ever and end up lying yourself into believing it.

Okay kids, so what are the facts? Scientologists are crazy for sure and light sabers are awesome.

What are my thoughts on Scientology? I think it's just a glorified sci-fi fantasy story. A kid doesn't pick up Twilight and think "Edward Cullen is my Lord! I must bow down to him and worship him and he will one day save me!" or The Lord of the Rings and think that Sauruman actually exists as the evil in the world. No... this is just not the case. None the less this topic certainly gave me a good laugh!

Our only clear and necessary actions? Sit back, grab some yummy food, and enjoy the silly Scientology ride! Foil hats and hot pockets me be provided.

                                      Happy camping my fellow Thetan kids!

                                                         DY5L3X1A