Socially Awkward
83And the Like
Something I have discovered in the last few months about myself: If I haven't spent any time around people all day and then I go somewhere that requires interacting with other human beings, I become the most socially awkward person in the world. I've probably been this way my whole life... but I'm just now realizing it.
Summer has just started for me, well almost. I've been out of school for three weeks now I think and as soon as finals were done I did this thing where I didn't want to be around anybody for a week and achieved this by staying in my room for long periods of time and not really answering any calls or texts. I would literally sit on my computer for hours surfing the net, going on forums, posting pictures on my Deviant Art page, and playing on Facebook. That's just about all I did next to cleaning my room, my car, my bathroom, my life... After the semester I just had it took me the entire week after finals to get my life back together.
I did have a couple of friends over to chill but it's not hard to socialize with these friends so it wasn't anything big.
Okay, biggest pet-peeve ever: Hanging out with someone who actually has to do something while you're hanging out. These people are the ones that can't just sit there and enjoy your company, or can't just sit around and watch a movie or talk or look through magazines or anything like that. They literally have to be doing something the WHOLE FREAK'N TIME that they're with you. You either have to take them out and go shopping, take them out to eat, go see a movie, go to a park... anything, SOMETHING to keep them entertained. I hate hanging out with these people. Thankfully I don't know very many that are like this.
I'm not saying this to be mean or tell people that if they want to hang out with me they better expect to not to do anything. I'm just saying that when I come off of a high stress semester in college and go straight into summer the reason I probably didn't call you up to hang out was because I knew you were a high maintenance friend. Not that I don't love you! I wouldn't call you my friend if I didn't love you.
Anyway, back to my original topic. Socially awkward... That's me! That week after finals I still had work and where I work I'm constantly interacting with people all the time. I work at the theatre that puts on shows... not a movie theater... a THEATER theater. And my job entails handling the audience, the actors, and the crew all in one. So basically my position is a glorified babysitting position. And all that week I wouldn't see anyone for hours and hours during the day and then I had to turn it all around and actually see people and deal with them and talk to them. Imagine! Talking to people can sometimes be so difficult!
It's not something that you think its difficult ever... but when you can be as socially awkward as I can because you've spent most of your days as a hermit in your room... it can get pretty difficult.
So one of these days I was sitting up in the sound booth waiting for dancers to arrive for their rehearsal before the show and some dancer walks in and comes straight up to the sound booth, sits down next to me and starts talking to me. The first thought in my head was "What do you want I don't want to interact with you please leave me alone." But she kept talking and talking and socializing and I kept nodding and agreeing and mhmming. And them some of the crew members showed up and were talking and blah blah blah and finally I told them "When I haven't spent time around people for the beginning of the day and then I come to work like this I become this incredibly socially awkward person and the first thing I want to tell people who try to talk to me is to not."
That ended up breaking my ice and I was fine from then on cause everyone else felt more awkward than I did.
So what is my point in writing this blog? I'm not to sure. It's just an observation that I've been observing for the last few weeks. I see how kids who get homeschooled and don't interact with other kids can become incredibly sheltered and awkward. This is a problem in our society. And I guess this week my topic is going to be awkwardness so I think I'm prefacing this week with this blog. I'll be ranging from an aray of different subjects from dating, to pick up lines, to friends, to awkward situations... we'll see where this one takes me! If you have any awkward stories you'd like to share feel free to leave them in my lovely little friendly comment box! I always enjoy getting comments. I get so few because I just started blogging! Sad day.
Okay so what are the facts? I am a socially awkward creature who likes her solitude and doesn't like to be talked to when she's spent hours alone on her own.
What are my thoughts on this? I think that I've solved this problem by telling people exactly what I've written in here. Once I do that the ice is broken and I'm all good from then on!
This week's blog topic: Awkwardness In Its Worst Forms
Happy camping awkward little kids!
DY5L3X1A
Put a bag over your head, you're socially awkward
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You'll be friends with anyone during high school... just so you don't end up having to eat by yourself in the bathroom, or at least that's how it was for me kinda. And sometimes they can be really good friends, they're just really hard to hang out with! Glad you understand.
I like that... a soldier without his gun. Excellent analogy James! When found in this situation the best thing to do is to tell the people you're around that you haven't had any human contact for (insert amount of hours here) and apologize for seeming stand-off-ish. That usually helps!
Thanks for the comment James!
...im really socially awkward around anybody i dnt know im currently in high school i have litteraly one friend and i fucking hate her iim only "friends" with her so i dnt have to oeat by myself in the bathroom like i did last year which put me in a deep state of depression.. this is not a joke im real for anyone who think im just posting to post lol well.. last year her and i sat together at luch everyday until one day she told me she was going to sit with her other friends and thats not the part that botherd me what bothered me was she didnt ask me maybe if i wanted to sit with her?!? soo i ended up siting with her guy friends all bymyself they called me names for no reason..:( and to the point i just decided i'd eat my lunch in the bathroom stall to minus the hulmination of people staring at me
when ever im around say like people i dont konw hold my breathe and my nose starts to itch and i become really uncomfortable... i dont know what to to do about this situation note i am highly aware that i am socially awkward.:( i dont make alot of friends because i dont know how to start a convosation with a person i dont know so i just dont say anything at all.. im very quite..and ive had a teacher ask me "hunny do you have any friends?" in front of my entire class..:( how embarassing ?!? i was so pissed off and borderline about to cry well i wanted to blog sooo yeah
hey.. im socially akward and hella yeah i got friends
you jst go up to them and try to talk to them
eventually they will become your friends :P
lol.. WELL IM HERE.. I CAN BE YOUR FRIEND
IF YOU WANNA :D
SO DONT SAY U DNT GOT ANY FRIENDS
CAUSE IM OFFERING U MY FRIENDSHIP
OK
i am a muslim american and no im not the kind of muslim yourthinking. I dont even look arab. im just like everyone else in a way(but then again im not). i grew up going to a muslim private school untill 6th grade. i then switched to a public school which was incredibly difficult for a guy like me. I am a very shy person. So junior high was a total disaster for me. i had no friends. the people i hung out with always made fun of me. it was horrible. Then i went to highschool and everything worked out some how. I was friends with everyone i had a girlfriend that i loved. everything was just perfect. Everything was perfect except for my grades. Due to my socialization i failed everysingle one of my classes except one C in math. so that summer my mom switched me to homeschool thinking it would help. I wanted to kill myself. I wouldnt stop crying. The first year wasnt bad. My grades didnt improve really but i still had friends. I would still stay intouch with my highschool friends too. But as time went on things got worse. Today i sit for hours alone. I am 100 percent socially awkard. I have no friends but my cousin. How pathetic is that. Literally the only person i hang out with is my cousin. Hes my bestfriend and all but its not enough. Hes constantly with his girlfriend and talking to her and it makes me jealous cause i dont have a girl there for me like that let alone a group of friends. Someone posted that its easy to make friends. just go and talk to someone and eventually youll become friends. NO BUDDY. its not that easy when youve been deprived from society. I am now in my first year at community college. I dont talk to anyone at school. i go to class and go straight home. when i run into someone i knew from before i get incredibly awkward. i wish there was a cure...
PLEASE READ. I'M JUST LIKE ALL OF YOU PEOPLE ON HERE! Hi everyone! I'm a 22 year old female and I still have socially awkward situations happen to me every once in a while. But hey don't we all. I had a ladies night the other nite and everything was going great. We mentioned weight loss and weight gaining and then I said that it was better to be skinny and another girl said "no it's better to be big." I thought to myself oops! There's a girl in here who is a bit on the heavy side. No one made an issue on the comment but here I am a couple days later beating my self up for it. I'm actually considering going up the girl about that comment. I don't want everyone to think that I am shallow bc I am not. Maybe I am making a big deal about it then again i think it just came out wrong. We all go through this at one point or another. We just need to get over it and move on and realize we all make mistakes. I think that social awkwardness is a insecurity that some of us haven't gotten over yet or haven't dealt with properly since our childhood years. But don't be discouraged. Talk to people when you don't feel like it. Go out when you don't feel like it. This will allow you to open yourself up and it will be a lot easier to find friends and keep them. I've dealt with me inviting people and friends most of the time instead of the other way around. This used to bother me but I realize now that some people are shy or some people think that bc I have a boyfriend that I might be busy or that I just may not want to go. But that didn't stop me from hanging out with people. For a long time I've dealt with my own insecurities of a fear of people not liking me for being attractive. I used to think that people thought that i was weird so I would stay couped up in my room. I would go to class then go straight home go on facebook or yahoo answer or sleep. I didn't want to deal with people. The truth of life was that i was hiding from true self. I'm usally a very adventurous, impulsive person that loves trying new things, loves people, loves FOOD!! AND here I was hiding (depressed!). Not a very healthy way of living. What helped me out was God, lots of prayer I just snapped out of it I guess. I still deal with those familiar feelings from time to time. But I snap out of it and say GOD LOVES ME! THE MOST HIGH OF ALL THE UNIVERSE!! I WILL SUCCEED, I AM BEAUTIFUL. PEOPLE NEED ME BECAUSE I CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. I watched a lot of inspirational youtube videos (Joyce Meyers helped me out BIG time!! You guys are all so precious!! Hope I have made a difference in someone's life today!
PLEASE READ. I'M JUST LIKE ALL OF YOU PEOPLE ON HERE! Hi everyone! I'm a 22 year old female and I still have socially awkward situations happen to me every once in a while. But hey don't we all. I had a ladies night the other nite and everything was going great. We mentioned weight loss and weight gaining and then I said that it was better to be skinny and another girl said "no it's better to be big." I thought to myself oops! There's a girl in here who is a bit on the heavy side. No one made an issue on the comment but here I am a couple days later beating my self up for it. I'm actually considering going up the girl about that comment. I don't want everyone to think that I am shallow bc I am not. Maybe I am making a big deal about it then again i think it just came out wrong. We all go through this at one point or another. We just need to get over it and move on and realize we all make mistakes. I think that social awkwardness is a insecurity that some of us haven't gotten over yet or haven't dealt with properly since our childhood years. But don't be discouraged. Talk to people when you don't feel like it. Go out when you don't feel like it. This will allow you to open yourself up and it will be a lot easier to find friends and keep them. I've dealt with me inviting people and friends most of the time instead of the other way around. This used to bother me but I realize now that some people are shy or some people think that bc I have a boyfriend that I might be busy or that I just may not want to go. But that didn't stop me from hanging out with people. For a long time I've dealt with my own insecurities of a fear of people not liking me for being attractive. I used to think that people thought that i was weird so I would stay couped up in my room. I would go to class then go straight home go on facebook or yahoo answer or sleep. I didn't want to deal with people. The truth of life was that i was hiding from true self. I'm usally a very adventurous, impulsive person that loves trying new things, loves people, loves FOOD!! AND here I was hiding (depressed!). Not a very healthy way of living. What helped me out was God, lots of prayer I just snapped out of it I guess. I still deal with those familiar feelings from time to time. But I snap out of it and say GOD LOVES ME! THE MOST HIGH OF ALL THE UNIVERSE!! I WILL SUCCEED, I AM BEAUTIFUL. PEOPLE NEED ME BECAUSE I CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. I watched a lot of inspirational youtube videos (Joyce Meyers helped me out BIG time!! You guys are all so precious!! Hope I have made a difference in someone's life today!
okay but what do you do if you have no friends at all,live with your parents bcause you don't have enough money,depressed but can't afford medication,have to spend all your time studying and bad at making conversation.Please offer suggestions,I appreciate it.I have no friends at all because we moved my last year of highschool and I never had a chance to form relationships,plus I am shy.Thank you.
HI, that was a really good blog. It didn't have much meaning but it was a good read. I'm only 16 and I've experienced more social blunders than probably everyone here put together. I mean, one time I was standing around with a bunch of girls from my school and they were laughing at this other girl who "didn't get out much" and "didn't have much of a life" and they were basically comparing her to themselves because they're all just so "incredibly social" with "extremely bustling social lives". Anyway, as they were discussing this I came out with "YA! 'cause we're so used to being out on the streets! YO!" and as I said this I made a wierd rapper gesture with my left hand. Everyone went silent and gave me this disgusted look. I laughed awkwarly and said "Sorry I'll just shut up now..." and one of them responded "yeah please do" and they continued their discussion as I shuffled my feet all awkwardly...as well as going a bit red...ANYWAYS I'm gaining a few more social skills now anyway so I think I'm pretty much over that social blunder. Why am I writing this?
lol random surfer you're cool in my book
To tell you the truth Im glad I'm not "popular". My high school is a bad case of fifth grade. Seriously, all the girls go on about how "great, and awesome, and fabulous" they are when most of them have the personality of a twig. It is also a hot topic of how much they hate their "best friend". Sometimes I wish these girls would just grow up and admit 1. Everyone hates them, 2. They are just as much of friendless losers as the people they bitch about, and 3. the world does not revolve around them. I am so sick of people calling me a "bitch" for being honest. -_- I understand it's "fun" to do drugs, but some kids need to get their heads out of their asses and realize one thing...
We are all socially awkward in one way or another so stop thinking you are "better" then the 299,999,999 other people who make up country. *end of rant*
There's a book that I read call the Highly Sensitive Person that I found really helpful. I lent it to someone and never got it back. But one thing that I remember reading that was particularly relevant to your case is that when you spend extended amounts of time isolated or within a closed space, it actually makes you MORE hyper sensitive to the stimulation around you. So there are 2 techniques that are really helpful. One is to transition yourself into social situations. I usually go to a small coffee house and get a cup of tea before I have to be around people and it allows me very limited social interaction & gets me into the mindset to be remotely amicable. The 2nd is this: if you find yourself getting overstimulated, (be it overwhelmed or irate) close your eyes (and you can do this subtly) and focus on your breathing for a few seconds. I've tried this and it's true. Most of the sensory information you take in, even when things sound chaotic around you actually gets processed through your retina. By shutting out all of the external stimuli you can filter out some of the excess and then focusing on your breathing gets your mind to focus upon one thing and makes everything kind of slow down and feel a little less overwhelming. I also take small breaks and walk around outdoors or in public spaces just to people watch for a moment to get my head clear, or if I have more time I go for a walk or run. I hope this helps.
Ha ha ha RandomSurfer I would have joined in with you in making snide remarks to those vapid airheads and you wouldn't be able to get me away from you with a stick. :)
That is EXACTLY how I am! I am probably THE MOST socially awkward person you'd ever know. Yeaa, eating in the bathroom is very embarrassing when someone walks in on you. I have no one to talk to, ive NEVER had ONE friend in my entire 18 yrs on this earth!! Except for my cousin who is only 15! But, the only good thing that comes out of this "disease", is that i have done very well in school.
BTW, Monica your post helped me very much. I too have social anxiety disorder and have to control my breathing and just slow downnn.
Thank you to all of you for sharing your input on this, in my world, "disease".
That makes TOTAL sense to me. I had friends in school from the start of third grade(before then i was just the weirdo), but they were never really my super excellent friends. When junior year of high school came, the rival schools were split and half of the 2 rivals had to come together into one school. I had to leave all my friends behind and the only one I had come along kinda ignored me. I spent EVERY day of Junior year eating lunch....IN MY DAD'S CLASSROOM! Alone. With the door locked. Because I was embarrassed that I was alone. I had always been a nerdy girl...with a face of a super model and a bunch of talents. I didn't like sports but I loved Star Wars and went to a bunch of movies that my Dad would take me to. My dad practically raised me on sci-fi but I'm a dress/skirt kinda gal. You'd think boys would like a beautiful girl who had General Grievous & Darth Vader painted on her wall. THINK AGAIN!! NO ONE EVER ASKED ME OUT....AT ALL. No dances. No dates. Except for Senior year...and the kid was my friend and he was a sophomore. Dances always made me feel sooo terrible. Even when I was the one who asked. There was nothing wrong with me physically, and my personality was great. People always commented on my jokes and my talents and stuff. But I managed to make a lot of friends Senior year because I got in musical drama. I didn't feel like such a weirdo there. Then I graduated. My friends got left there and the others started getting all excited for college. All summer, I've laid on my bed watching Farscape & Family Guy, playing videogames, drawing, roleplaying on forums and checking facebook. My cousins stayed over for a bit and I never felt more socially awkward in my life. My brother is a social butterfly. He knows what's in and all the music rage and stuff. I sit there listening not to modern, but to the Musical score of Harry Potter, Star Wars, Atlantis, Dinosaur, Treasure Planet....and sing nothing but cheesy songs from movies and musicals. You can't get much nerdier than that. Now I have to start college without any friends...for everyone is going down to another college to live on campus. I always have to tell myself to not say something nerdy in social situations...and this college thing...it's terrifying!
I can completely relate to this post and that of the other posts. I haven't always been socially awkward--until eighth grade, I could socialize pretty good with others. In the summer between seventh and eigth grade, I became a hermit. I hardly ever got out of the house and spent most of my time playing a video game on the computer. When the first day of eighth grade came, I was overwhelmed with how much socializing I was required to do. I stuttered, couldn't keep a conversation going, and was extremely self conscious. I remember coming home and crying because it was so overwhelming.
Eighth grade only continued to get worse. I remember I had no friends in my Honors Science class, and eventually my mom had to call the teacher and he had to assign me groups. It was so very humiliating because most of the students knew what was happening. I skipped most of the field trips for that class as well as I was always left out of groups (because I was the 'weird, shy, socially awkward girl')and was forced to stand and sit by myself.
Ninth grade got a little better, because in the summer between eighth and ninth grade I got out more and did more activities. However, I was still extremely shy, introverted, and self conscious. I found myself in embarassing or awkward situations almost every day, making school miserable.
Tenth grade, again, was a little better. I had a few more friends (although I hardly ever hung out with these people after school. I think a better term would be 'acquaintances'). I found myself STILL suffering from extreme self consciousness. In the third trimester of school, or the last three months, my only friend had a different lunch period from me. As I am a very shy and introverted person, I had no friends that lunch period and found myself eating lunch in a bathroom stall every single day. Talk about embarassing.
Since the sixth grade, I have only had one friend. In all honesty, I do not like her, and I believe the feeling is mutual. I believe the only reason we have kept this friendship is so we won't have to eat lunch alone. Last year, however, she has gained many new friends and therefore I will probably eat lunch by myself this coming year.
I am glad that I found this post and that I am not the only one. I often say things that other people find odd (I consider myself to have a completely different sense of humor and personaltiy than that of my peers or co-workers). My main problem is I am so aware of how I am looking and of how I am talking (in other words, extremely self conscious) and I need to work on this. I cannot keep a conversation going as I can never think of what to say next or what to ask next (when I do ask something, people give me an odd look. I guess I ask too personal of questions), which makes me not want to talk to people. It is very rough, and every day and every social situation is difficult.
Thank you for taking the time to read this!
I have become so incredibly shy and awkward from being isolated (a.k.a. grounded for life), because after a while of not going out it becomes a habit to act quiet. I realize that I will always be shy and maybe anxious, but practice definitely makes perfect. Keep trying and I promise no matter what you won't feel like a failure. Try to make new friends, because it is actually an important part of keeping around ones too. So I often do not know what to talk about with people I'm meeting, so I end up talking about myself the whole time-both boring and irritating. I have forgotten that I am still an energetic, funny person (and occasionally pretty outgoing, because I'm so eccentric :p). But overall I think that socially awkward isn't bad, in a way it's kind of endearing or cute, or sometimes even humorous. What people need is confidence. Try to focus your judgement on other people, not their judgement on you. Be optimistic, stay positive and it'll get a lot better, and also you have to learn to forgive yourself and accept that this is one of your flaws. Work on it, be nice to people and you'll succeed fo sho.
u guys are luckier than me the popular kids at my school make good grades and have a great social life i am average close to stupid and have no friends i get weird looks and i can't breath walking through crowded hallways
This post was so helpful, thankyou, its good to know that I'm not the only one like this.
I've always been extremely conscience of my behaviour around others and sensitive to the way they respond to me. Im too shy/ socially awkward to even think of having a girlfriend, I dont know what a couple is supposed to do if theyre not having sex so all my relationships are kept really shallow, even though I feel like I have a lot of love to give, being lonely really hurts.
Wow I'm glad i found this! Its interesting to see how others react to the same problems i have, it helps alot. I was the trouble maker in early schooling, often had my desk moved into the back of the office where the coat rack was. I had a couple friends in those days but never could go to alot of peoples houses because their parents thought i was a bad kid. When high school came around it seemed like that was all behind me i started to make new friends and started to go out with this cute girl that was a year younger than me and i was really happy making good grades not getting in trouble, it was cool. then around grade 11 it seemed like all my friends had their own little groups. When I tried hanging out with one of my friends, him and his group would be talking about drugs or music etc when i would try to join in on their conversations they would often laugh at me because i didn't know what was cool i didn't know what was in style, I was the kid that wore sweaters my grandma knitted. During grade 11 I stop hanging out with my friends cause it seemed like they had their own awesome lives and just hung out with my girlfriends friends, that soon failed, she was my only friend for a while i think she got sick of me, she broke up with me at lunch in front of all her friends and the whole school she called me loner and alot of hurtful names and she made it into a big scene, after that I couldn't really talk to anyone at school, it became harder to socialize and I found my self at home watching movies and video gaming all day, know when i go out if i find myself trying to avoid social contact and if i am cornered into I just try to smile and agree by nodding i just dont know how to talk to people anymore
So glad i found this forum as well. I have become probably the most socially awkward person i know, but less so than my brother. Nothing i say comes out right and when you talk to me, expect lots of awkward silences. My seldomly commanding voice now quivers excessively with fear as i speak to anyone. I'm constantly nervous even when i'm completely alone, like stage freight 24/7. Just turned 20. Never had a girlfriend bc im too afraid. Always worried about what others think of me, even some friends, to the point where im shaking with cold sweaty palms for no apparent reason. Nobody will hire me, so i cant afford anything, especially doc/meds. Lifes passing me by and im standing still- i had so many ambitions. I need benzos/alcohol before class to make it through. Dont get me started on working in groups- ill think that im not helping enough, im a loser to them, im doing something wrong, i sound weird, etc. The words, "Okay class, get into your groups" sends a shockwave through my body due to adrenaline rush. But i remembered to snap into mindfulness breathing meditation today before the adrenaline rush and maintained some sense of calm. Group presentation in 2 weeks. I will need to come to class loaded.
Just thought I would mention that while I am perfectly content to do nothing (I actually quite like to relax, rather than be active or whathaveyou), I tend to be socially awkward unless I am with close friends or occupied by some kind of activity. So, based on that alone, I try to have something to do when I'm meeting up with people, lest I feel uncomfortable the whole time.
Hm yeah I definately fall into this category. Never ate in the toilet stall though... Maybe thats one of the reasons you are having trouble adapting there bud. Try the library :) I was an only child who grew up in an isolated area, so all through primary school I was very disconnected from the other children... well, from reality really. But once high school things like learning an instrument and maybe sports (if your more athletic than i was) really help make you feel like your a part of something. Me and the other geeks and freaks of the school would all get together and make god awful noises on our instrument of choice and call it punk rock. There's unity in detatchment, y'know? If your doing something that you enjoy anyway, and there is other human beings involved in said activity it makes it that much easier to start interacting and break down those walls. One VERY important point i would like to make is that if you are like we were (we punk kids) then at some point you will probably notice that anphetimines turn you into a social butterfly (at least in your mind) for a few hours, and thats fine, im not here to tell to to not do drugs, go make your own mistakes. But i will say this: once you let that shit (ice/crack) get on top of you you end up caming out more socially retarded than ever. And you have to start alll over again :( so at the risk of sounding old and partied out: moderation is key!
I feel for each one of you who has written on this post. Its not like just anyone would search "socially awkward" on the net, let alone participate, so congrats on all you awkward ppl for taking a step in the right direction.
I started to avoid ppl, conversations, activities, pretty much everything around high school. I hated myself. I was skinny, not muscular, acne, bad hair. Just hated myself. So i began a self prescribed treatment of large doses of marijuana, moving to black tar heroin around senior year of high school. My using allowed me to still have fun with other addicts, who werent there for me, just my hobby. Because of this, i was now hiding not only myself, but my addiction as well. Ended up getting kicked out of college, catching pnemonia, AND having a heroin induced seizure, all in the same week.
I didnt have friends throughout this nor the capacity to make any, and am sincerely sympathetic to those who feel like no one gives a shit about them. I do (as proof, this was written on my iphone)
Anyways, what brought me together in the end was - Firstly, get out or graduate from school. Schools one big popularity social party anyway. Even college, you just pay for it. And when your ready for an advanced education you can come back later. Really, who said you Have to do college after school?
Secound, get a job. Yea sounds intimidating if youve never had one, but its not like school, your there to work-not socialize, and you get paid!
Third, how will you ever chsnge if YOU dont initiate that change? Chances are awkward ppl, is that you will be awkward forever unless you make changes. Do you think fat people just suddenly lose wieght? No, they make changes. And the results arent immediate or even noticable, but knowing ive made changes for the better of me, has allowed me to walk with a "swagger".
My overall solution?
Workout
Your body will look gooood in about a month of Consistant Hard Daily workouts. If your fat, youll be skinny. If your weak, youll be strong. If your ugly, youll look better. But what does this have to do with being socially awkward? if you have all those positives going for you, do you think youll be that concerned if screw up a conversation? Chances are, youll gain a shit ton of confidence Just by working to make yourself look healthier and attractive.
You have to be serious about it though. I traded drugs for working out. One addiction for another, instead my daily bowls i have daily workouts. And now i feel great instead of pathetic and depressed. Give it a chance
Mmm..good article..yeahh I'm 22 and kinda socially awkward too...but I've been developing my social skills a bit...thanks to friends who are outgoing and comprehensive and help me with the "social situations"...there are still much to learn...but if I feel like I'm acting weird or something I just don't mind what people think, and act like I don't give a crap or being sarcastic..it works fine for me haha.
And btw...Jenny I can't believe that nobody asked you out...I mean I found girls like the way you describe yourself pretty interesting ;)
its like my story , been there done that. man how difficult is it to interact with people :( with arms and legs and ...oh god mouth... talking takes such a toll. .. sorry pal ... you cant get over it.it only gets worse with time :(
I have been socially awkward my entire life. I'll tell you up front, I am an INFP, a Pisces, AND an only child! The perfect recipie for social pain. to make matters worse, as a child I was overweight so the teasing has left a scar on me for life. No matter how thinI have been (155lb in HS, 200lb now and 6'0) I always feel fat. I dont want people to look at me because I fee like I look all pudgy and they are grossed out. Woemen tell me all the time I am good looking. It must be true because the one thing I have always been able to do is find good looking girlfriends (thank God!).I have a job in a very large company, but most of the time I am trying to figure out how to avoid interacting with other people. Even people on my own team. I suspect people think I am stuck up or think I am too good for everyone. I wish they knew that was not the case. I have one good friend that I do things with once in a while. I have a girlfreind too. But even with them I feel "tense" most of the time we are together. It is like this heightned sense of self awareness that is always locking me up. I am so damn self conscious. I think it might have soemthing to do with the fact that growing up it was just me and my mom. I never learned the dynamics of social situations at that vital young age. The natural eb and flow of a group conversation is so hard for me to partake in. I so envy people that are the center of attention in those situations, always firing off the perfect comment at the perfect time and making everyone laugh. I will say that if forced into a social situation I can be VERY good at acting the part and coming of perfectly normal and charming. However, it is a HUGE drain on me that requires time to recuperate from. So, what do I do? I avoid social situations. I stay in a lot, watching movies, playing video games, etc. I feel that this awkwardness has robbed me of a lot in life. Did I mention I only have 15 friends on Facebook? I was up to 30 but I deleted everyone because I got tired of stupid updates. Plus I was mad that no one ever posted on my wall :-) Good luck, you guys. ben61704@gmail.com
Oh, one other thing to the High School students out there. For socially awkward people like us, HS can be very hard. I just want you to really LISTEN to me when I say, this is as bad as it will ever get! After HS life gets SO much better I can't even put it into words. College and work are nothing like the childish environment we know as High School. Keep your head up and move forward. It gets better I promise you!!! Ashley - don't be ashamed of eating in a bathroom stall. I remember the morons in my high School and a toilet would have been better company than most of them ;-)
Hey I am writing a speech on social awkwardness and was wondering if any of you guys would be willing to help me out :) my speech has some humor in it, but I've also put in more serious sides, such as the developing of social phoobias/social anxiety. I'd like to get more information on social awkwardness though :) any and all help is appreciated!
I'm 16 and have never really experienced true friendship. I've always been really shy but have within the past year or two noticed I have social anxiety. I have a small group of friends, although mostly acquaintances, at school but I don't really fit in with them and am only "friends" with them so it appears as though I'm not a total loser. I'm quiet nearly 90% of the time in school except when I'm with those people. We have no similar interests and they think I'm really weird but they're still nice to me because I think they feel bad. I'm awkward in all social settings, even with my family. Lately I've found myself spending more and more time alone in my room on my computer. I guess I do have at least one really good friend but she's actually a friend of my sisters that I've known since I was 10. She's more like a sister and it was easy with her. It seems the only way I can make a "friend" is if someone I already know makes a friend for me. I find it hard to start, keep, and end conversations and everyone notices. It makes me incredibly nervous and makes me feel like going back in my room and crying. I just want it to go away so I can be happy for once.
nice blog and i feel for a lot of u guys/girls whichever you want to refer yourself to im like Jenny not entirely but i LOVE star wars and video games my favorite is Assassins Creed! anyways,back on subject i went through the same school system all my life i remember kindergarden and all i was a social butterfly i had friends all the time i had awesome friends in 1st grade all the way up to 7th grade. In 7th grade something changed in me,my BFF at the time hanged around another person all the time and just ignored me so there went tht and suddenly i realized i was all alone. It was awkward eating lunch alone being asked to get in the groups and sitting on the bus all alone, and when we went on a field trip we would be asked to get into groups of 4 and of course i was the only 1 w/out a group i had to go with some of the parents soo imbarrased but i near the end of 7th grade something changed in me again i got my socialness back! i soon was Best Friends with a popular group in the school now im in 8th grade and still currently BFFS with them, i can talk and carry on a lively and hilarious conversation with two of them (theres 4 including me) but one of them is quiet and really cool it gets really awkward when we are one on one so today i decided to look up my problem and this blog proved to solve it thanks guys!
Thanks for this blog! I read it and I can relate to this...
I wasn't a socially-awkward person most of my life... In fact, I was considered one of the most popular kids throughout middle school and most of highschool. My senior and current year (victory lap) at highschool has really changed. Before this year, I talked and socialized a lot with a bunch of people who were considered popular and socially attractive. But this was all before I really met God and decided to become a devoted Christian.
Prior to becoming a Christian, I partied a lot and did bad things. There were many house parties and I attended them, drinking and being under the use of marijuana and other drugs. I didn't have to be careful with my words, didn't care if I judged or bad-mouthed anyone I didn't like, and also didn't care about being flirty and sexually active. That was my way of socializing, basically. Also I was very rebellious to my mother and vandalized the city.
But when I made friends with some Christians, my views started to change drastically. I started really believing in God, so then I committed my life to Him, and later became really cautious of my actions. I really wanted to change my character and habits; I didn't want to go back to what I was before... didn't want live in such an unpure world. So before I blurted out anything, I examined the words to be approved. I realized that most of what I wanted to say would either give a bad image of myself and God and/or really hurt others around me. From then on, I subconsciously kept telling myself to rather not say anything, than risk saying something demeaning. Later during the years, I forgot how to express myself to others. There is so much confusion in my head in which I can't express even my innermost happy feelings to my crush, friends, or intimidating people. I'm currently trying really hard to learn how to socialize with a positive and non-sexual attitude.
@Andrew.....dude I feel the exact same way. I have decided to commit my life to God, and I carefully examine every word that comes out of my mouth (although sometimes I slip). Im in college and most of the people I meet do not share the same personal beliefs that I do based on what I have read in the Bible. It's not like I would not want to be friends with these people, but the things they talk about, the stuff that is important to them and the way alot of these kids act is almost...repulsive to me. So, rather than conversing with them I just end up being quiet...I think people would consider me socially awkward or "wierd" just because I don't talk alot.
"I realized that most of what I wanted to say would either give a bad image of myself and God and/or really hurt others around me. From then on, I subconsciously kept telling myself to rather not say anything, than risk saying something demeaning. Later during the years, I forgot how to express myself to others. There is so much confusion in my head in which I can't express even my innermost happy feelings to my crush, friends, or intimidating people. I'm currently trying really hard to learn how to socialize with a positive and non-sexual attitude."
Realest stuff I've ever heard.
james 2 years ago
"Okay, biggest pet-peeve ever: Hanging out with someone who actually has to do something while you're hanging out."
Oh God. Those people. I'm amazed at some of the people I considered my friends through four years of high school who were like that. Every time we hung out I couldn't wait to go back home. I could never be enjoying what we were supposed to be doing because the onslaught of "what are we doing next?" was always right around the corner.
But yeah, sometimes during the summer there are days that go by when I don't talk to a soul and then am thrust into a social situation that leaves me feeling like a soldier who's gone to war without his gun. It's a terrible feeling and serves as a reminder for the need to socialize OR ELSE.